Tag Archives: parenting

Rounding up 2016

At the end of 2015 I set myself some goals for this year.

  • Continue losing weight
  • Take a class at the gym
  • Work towards being fit enough for spinning
  • Be outside more with the girls
  • Not shout as much
  • Be more fun
  • Have a regular date night with Phil
  • Have an evening a week of no technology
  • Reintroduce our Sunday afternoon walks
  • Be more mindful
  • Learn something
  • Do more with my food blog
  • Improve the house
  • Make more of our outdoor space

I failed miserably on the taking a class at the gym/doing spinning etc – I did manage to lose a stone doing the 8 week blood sugar diet (no carbs, no refined sugar, only eat 800 cals a day) but I’ve regained that, and some extra.

I’ve tried to be outside more with the girls, but I haven’t done an exceptional amount – I didn’t do enough over the summer.

I’ve tried very hard with the shouting – but I still shout a lot, I need to try a lot harder on this next year.  I do think I’ve been more fun, I feel much closer with both girls at the end of this year.

We have had a couple of date nights, but nothing regular.  It’s so hard without having available babysitters – I feel like everyone is so busy and would be inconvenienced greatly by having to look after our girls on an evening.  This might improve as they get older and need less help going to bed?  We haven’t introduced an evening a week of no technology, we have done it a couple of times, but we should try harder next year.

I do feel that I’ve been more mindful – I know when I need to switch off from the world and colour or lose myself in a book.  I’m not quite at the meditation level – but I don’t expect that I ever would be, it’s not very me.

I completed an online nutrition course, and started a couple of other ones, which I’ve really enjoyed – it feels great to be learning.

I made the hard decision to retire my food blog.  I found that I was becoming anxious about not having time to post, or work on recipes, or try to compete in the new blogging world.  My heart just wasn’t in it, and the relief of making the decision to wind it up was immense.

We’ve made some improvements in the house, decorated bedrooms, bought a couple of bits of furniture when we could afford it, and worked at making it nice for us all.  There’s a lot of work still to do, and I don’t know when we’ll ever be able to afford everything that needs doing.  One day we’ll get to it though.

Our outdoor space is sadly neglected, that is definitely something to work on next year – if we can find the money.

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23 weeks

This pregnancy is absolutely flying by.  Whilst I don’t feel very big, people constantly tell me how big I am, and at this point they were hardly showing etc…well I am showing, but I don’t think I’m too big for gestation.

This last week I’ve started with pelvic pain, which I didn’t have first time round.  I knew with being overweight it was always a possibility, I just assumed from being pregnant with the Duck that I carried easily and I would do the same this time.  The pain started on Sunday, but became really severe on Monday.  I just assumed I’d pulled something in bed.  Monday night and Tuesday I was in agony with it, and finally decided to listen to what Phil’s telling me and slow down a bit.  Since then the pain has been there when walking, but it’s been manageable.  It’s worse at the end of the day, or if I’ve had a day where I’ve had to move about a lot.  On Thursday I admitted defeat, after we’d been to vote I popped into our local doctor’s surgery and managed to get a telephone consultation – that then led to me being seen on Friday.  I don’t think the doctor was too worried about it, I can still move, and it’s not the worst pain I’ve had – but thankfully she has referred me for physio.  I’m looking forward to the appointment and getting some strategies to coping with this better.

We’ve had some beautiful weather recently so we’ve made the most of it and had a couple of picnics with our respective families over at Temple Newsam.  We’ve played out in the garden a lot, been for walks, and when the sun got too much we stopped inside with playdoh and managed to do a bit of messy play with squirty cream in the bath.  Daisy found it hilarious to cover me in the whipped cream, so I ended up just as messy as she did.

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If I can get to the end of August, like I’ve planned, then I have 14 weeks left at work.  I’ve found it hard telling people that I won’t be coming back – everyone has said it’s such a shame, and I still feel like I’ve let my boss down.  My replacement starts in a week, so I have a good hand over period with him and can get him fully trained and ready to become the new me.  It’s unfortunate that the job I do couldn’t be done on an evening/weekend – I’d jump at the chance of being able to do that – but there’s no way I could stay on the same banding and not be available for meetings, or be available to help/train the rest of the team.  I hope I’ll be able to find some evening work within the NHS, and then I’ll be able to keep my continuous service for my pension, but if I can’t then so be it.  I made the choice to have another child or keep progressing with this career, there was no competition for me – I always wanted a large family, and I want to spend more time with the Duck before she goes to school.

The biggest thing for me is my loss of independence.  I’ll no longer be able to spend “my” money on whatever I like, I know I’ll feel guilty having to ask Phil for money to be able to socialise with my friends/buy clothes etc – I’m determined that I’ll have a little part time job to be able to keep that independence, but the loss of status from my current job will take me some getting used to.

Twelve weeks of Daisy

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My little girl is 12 weeks old, and has just had her second round of immunisations.  The weeks are flying by and she’s changing so quickly.  I can’t really remember what our life was like without her now.

Over the past few weeks we’ve been doing baby massage and have been on a baby first aid course.  I’d recommend doing both.

We’ve been swimming, she wasn’t so sure what to make of that – the pool was very cold, so we could only stay in a few minutes.

She’s seen her first snow, and again wasn’t sure what to make of that one either.

She’s just starting to laugh, but only Phil or my Dad have made her laugh so far, she just won’t do it for me.

She sings along with us, and makes up her own words to her bedtime stories – utterly cute.

I’m so blissfully happy, but at the same time I’m so tired some days I feel like I’m being tortured.

 

The Pram issue

I’ve been worrying myself about not having picked a pram yet.  The one I originally fell in love with (Quinny Buzz) I realised was too expensive, and too wide.

I have no spatial awareness.  One of the biggest things stopping me start those damn driving lessons again is my fear of reversing round a corner.  I am useless at it.  No matter what people tell me, I just can’t turn the wheel the right way.  Yet bizarrely I’ve never had a problem parallel parking, but anyway, back to the subject in hand before I start hyperventilating with fear at having to get behind a wheel again.

So, as I was saying, the pram.  The Quinny was too wide and too expensive.  So after a million people telling me I HAD to go to the Mamas and Papa’s Outlet in Huddersfield off we tootled today, me fully expecting to find the pram of my dreams there.  Except we didn’t.  There wasn’t anything there, apart from a wide selection of chintzy, flowery, shite maternity wear and some baby bedding.  There were a few pushchairs, but I wasn’t there to see pushchairs, I wanted to see a proper travel system pram type thingy.

We left, dejected and disillusioned.

Let’s pop in to Birstall, says I, there’s a Mothercare there.  Only when we got there we found there wasn’t, just another Mama’s and Papa’s, although a proper shop this time.  I pondered maybe asking if we could go to IKEA, but two trips in one month is just too much horror for poor Phil, I couldn’t put him through another one.  So we headed into Toys R Us to look in the baby section.

The cheap pram I found in Babies R Us seemed utterly peasant in comparison to the Quinny, but I didn’t want to come across like a complete snob so I said it was “OK”, knowing that pile of grey crap was never coming home with us, and then just to piss me off even further I couldn’t get the damn car seat off the base of it.  Phil could, the sales assistant could.  I could not.  I declared it was like that because I’m too short, and felt the tears pricking at my eyes, if I can’t take a car seat off how will I ever be a decent Mother?

I flounced out of Toys R Us in a huff, headed for Next.

Phil convinced me to go into Mama’s and Papa’s for a look, I begrudgingly agreed, prepared not to find anything.  Oh was I wrong.  Because there, like some kind of pram oasis, were prams.  Lots of lovely prams, and a lovely assistant who helped us.  I found two perfect prams, which I have now whittled down to my one perfect pram.

Behold, the Sola 2-in-1.  It’s red and stripey and lovely and easy to fold down.  It’s not cheap, but it’s no bugaboo either.

I can now breathe a sigh of relief, baby bedroom furniture has been selected, a pram has been selected… now for the million other things on my list to be bought.  (Yes there is a list now, thank you to all the lovely people who responded to my post on how clueless I am at this all I now have a list).

Anyone had this pram/knows anyone with it?  The reviews are very good on it, so I’m hoping it will be a good choice!

Mum skills

I’m beginning to worry that I’m just not Mummy material.

I have no clue about what I’m supposed to buying, about the stages of development, about weaning or anything like that.

I have books, I try to read ahead, but it just seems easier to concentrate on what’s happening right now with the pregnancy.  I’m kind of hoping I’ll just wake up one day and these missing Mum Skills will have just appeared.

The only Mum Skills I’ve mastered are the Mum Look, ability to embarrass and ability to order to clean bedrooms.  I don’t think these skills are going to help much with a new baby.

People keep stressing me out asking me what I’ve bought already.

I haven’t bought a thing.

I keep getting told I should be stock piling nappies – but how am I supposed to know which ones to buy?  Will the baby get on with a particular brand over another or are they all the same? What size should I even get?

Mostly – where the hell am I meant to put it all?  The baby doesn’t have a bedroom yet.

I told a friend about my plan to decorate the babies room when I go on maternity leave, two weeks before my due date.  She told me I absolutely mustn’t paint the baby’s room then – supposedly it should be done three months before due date?  How the hell can I do that?  We’re having to make Phil’s kids share a room, I said it wouldn’t have to happen until October, we can’t go back on our word and say now it’s happening in July, or make him sleep in a room that’s decorated for a baby.

Why is this so difficult!

I’m assuming there’s some kind of list in one of my many books that will tell me what to buy.  All I have on my list so far is:

  • moses basket
  • wardrobe
  • chest of drawers
  • changing station top for chest of drawers
  • cot
  • baby grows of some kind
  • Hungry Caterpillar book
  • nappies of some kind
  • super duper snazzy transformer type pushchair/carseat thing

I think my list is pretty light.

I’m usually pretty organised, and I keep thinking of things I should buy – or get instructed by someone else.  And then when I try to remember it’s gone.  I’ve lost all capacity of my short term memory.  I thought of a brilliant girls name that I wanted, and now can’t remember what that is.

I’ve had to buy a little notebook that I’ll write everything into so I don’t forget.  At work I am surrounded by post it notes, whenever my boss asks me to do anything I write it straight on a post it, I’m petrified of messing up because I’ve got some kind of mentally deficient pregnancy fog.

I just hope I get back to being super organised, and some how inspiration strikes and I know what to do.