23 weeks

This pregnancy is absolutely flying by.  Whilst I don’t feel very big, people constantly tell me how big I am, and at this point they were hardly showing etc…well I am showing, but I don’t think I’m too big for gestation.

This last week I’ve started with pelvic pain, which I didn’t have first time round.  I knew with being overweight it was always a possibility, I just assumed from being pregnant with the Duck that I carried easily and I would do the same this time.  The pain started on Sunday, but became really severe on Monday.  I just assumed I’d pulled something in bed.  Monday night and Tuesday I was in agony with it, and finally decided to listen to what Phil’s telling me and slow down a bit.  Since then the pain has been there when walking, but it’s been manageable.  It’s worse at the end of the day, or if I’ve had a day where I’ve had to move about a lot.  On Thursday I admitted defeat, after we’d been to vote I popped into our local doctor’s surgery and managed to get a telephone consultation – that then led to me being seen on Friday.  I don’t think the doctor was too worried about it, I can still move, and it’s not the worst pain I’ve had – but thankfully she has referred me for physio.  I’m looking forward to the appointment and getting some strategies to coping with this better.

We’ve had some beautiful weather recently so we’ve made the most of it and had a couple of picnics with our respective families over at Temple Newsam.  We’ve played out in the garden a lot, been for walks, and when the sun got too much we stopped inside with playdoh and managed to do a bit of messy play with squirty cream in the bath.  Daisy found it hilarious to cover me in the whipped cream, so I ended up just as messy as she did.

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If I can get to the end of August, like I’ve planned, then I have 14 weeks left at work.  I’ve found it hard telling people that I won’t be coming back – everyone has said it’s such a shame, and I still feel like I’ve let my boss down.  My replacement starts in a week, so I have a good hand over period with him and can get him fully trained and ready to become the new me.  It’s unfortunate that the job I do couldn’t be done on an evening/weekend – I’d jump at the chance of being able to do that – but there’s no way I could stay on the same banding and not be available for meetings, or be available to help/train the rest of the team.  I hope I’ll be able to find some evening work within the NHS, and then I’ll be able to keep my continuous service for my pension, but if I can’t then so be it.  I made the choice to have another child or keep progressing with this career, there was no competition for me – I always wanted a large family, and I want to spend more time with the Duck before she goes to school.

The biggest thing for me is my loss of independence.  I’ll no longer be able to spend “my” money on whatever I like, I know I’ll feel guilty having to ask Phil for money to be able to socialise with my friends/buy clothes etc – I’m determined that I’ll have a little part time job to be able to keep that independence, but the loss of status from my current job will take me some getting used to.

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