I’m nearly there! One more week to go at work until I start maternity leave and only four weeks to go to my due date. I can’t believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone, it’s just flown by. Our lives are about to completely change with the arrival of this little person that’s inside me.
When I first fell pregnant I was petrified of the birth, but now I don’t feel so scared. I know I can do it, and of course it will be painful, but it isn’t going to last forever. I don’t like the loss of control though – it’s a scary thought that I don’t have control of my body, of when the baby comes. I’m still worried I’ll go into labour at work, but even if I do – I won’t be the first or last woman to! I’ve also struggled with coming to terms with finishing work to have my child, even though I’ve planned to go back it will be going back part time, and the place will have coped without me for 7 months – will they even want me back? I’m good at what I do, and I enjoy it, but I do know that my priorities are just about to completely change and when the baby comes work is going to be that little bit less important than it is now.
I feel a bit calmer about becoming a Mum than I did before, I’m reading book after book after book on parenting, from Supernanny to Gina Ford, and learning about as many parenting styles as possible, but I know we’ll do this our way that suits both of us and the baby.
It is strange having the added complication of step children, having to worry about how they feel when I just want to get caught up in the excitement of having my baby. It’s made me be a little less selfish to try and think about them, but I still have a way to go – step parenting is not easy! I think it’s particularly hard because of their age, if they were younger and needed me a bit then it would be easier to build a relationship with them, but they’re teenagers, they don’t need me at all. They just need their Dad to be happy, so hopefully I achieve that for them.
We have almost everything we need, just the monitor to buy and then that’s the big things done. I’m desperate to buy little outfits for the baby, we saw some gorgeous little snowsuits in Mothercare – I wanted them all! All I need is the baby’s room sorted, which is getting done ASAP, and then I’ll feel all ready for the baby to make it’s grand entrance.