Thinking about weddings

Yesterday we went to our friends Laura and Dave’s wedding.  Whilst Phil and I aren’t even engaged, I couldn’t help but wonder what our big day would be like.

I know exactly what I want.  Leeds Town Hall followed by a big party, but there will have to be some kind of day ‘do’ for speeches and whatnot.  

I have an idea of what kind of dress I’d like.

I know what food I want.  BBQ and buffet for a summer wedding, or hog roast and buffet for a winter one.

I want a disco over a band.

I don’t want a break between the day do and evening do.

I do want Phil to be involved, make decisions and tell me what he’d like at one.

What I’d like for my wedding has drastically changed over the years, from wanting a full shebang white wedding, to wanting to go abroad, to now just wanting a small ceremony and a raucous celebration with friends and family.

But the thought of getting married fills me with stress, the cost, the number of people we’d have to invite, losing weight, being photographed, people looking at me and judging my choice of dress, people being offended that they/their kids haven’t been asked to be bridesmaids/page boys, the pressure to have stag/hen weeks abroad.  

I’d happily marry Phil tomorrow, just me and him at a registry office.  I don’t need all the pomp and grandeur of a big showy wedding.  

When I do get married I hope it’s like Dave and Laura’s wedding, personal and perfect for us.  It was wonderful to share their special day and enjoy all the quirks of their wedding.



One thought on “Thinking about weddings

  1. Laura (@LuraTea)

    I’m so glad you enjoyed the day. You’re right, it is an immense amount of stress. I think if I did it again I would definitely allow longer to arrange everything, accept/ask for more help. One of the best decision was hiring the planner/co-ordinator because she dealt with all the little boring time consuming things including worries on the day.

    But don’t worry about what people think. Never that. The beautiful thing about a wedding is you have total permission for self-indulgence. We thought about making our guest happy, but not in terms of making the wedding “to their taste”, just made sure they had food and drink and entertainment. And even the people that we thought would potentially hate the lack of tradition were telling me how much they enjoyed the day. We didn’t have stag/hen dos and I’m really glad because of the time and money involved. Not having any bridesmaids/groomsmen helped avoid conflict I think too! I hate to see you worry about losing weight. It’s a thing that seems to go along with Being A Bride for people and I found the pressure really hard but I am learning to accept my body as it is. You’re so beautiful (and have excellent dress sense) that I’m sure you will look amazing when the day comes and size really has nothing to do with that at all.


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