Mum skills

I’m beginning to worry that I’m just not Mummy material.

I have no clue about what I’m supposed to buying, about the stages of development, about weaning or anything like that.

I have books, I try to read ahead, but it just seems easier to concentrate on what’s happening right now with the pregnancy.  I’m kind of hoping I’ll just wake up one day and these missing Mum Skills will have just appeared.

The only Mum Skills I’ve mastered are the Mum Look, ability to embarrass and ability to order to clean bedrooms.  I don’t think these skills are going to help much with a new baby.

People keep stressing me out asking me what I’ve bought already.

I haven’t bought a thing.

I keep getting told I should be stock piling nappies – but how am I supposed to know which ones to buy?  Will the baby get on with a particular brand over another or are they all the same? What size should I even get?

Mostly – where the hell am I meant to put it all?  The baby doesn’t have a bedroom yet.

I told a friend about my plan to decorate the babies room when I go on maternity leave, two weeks before my due date.  She told me I absolutely mustn’t paint the baby’s room then – supposedly it should be done three months before due date?  How the hell can I do that?  We’re having to make Phil’s kids share a room, I said it wouldn’t have to happen until October, we can’t go back on our word and say now it’s happening in July, or make him sleep in a room that’s decorated for a baby.

Why is this so difficult!

I’m assuming there’s some kind of list in one of my many books that will tell me what to buy.  All I have on my list so far is:

  • moses basket
  • wardrobe
  • chest of drawers
  • changing station top for chest of drawers
  • cot
  • baby grows of some kind
  • Hungry Caterpillar book
  • nappies of some kind
  • super duper snazzy transformer type pushchair/carseat thing

I think my list is pretty light.

I’m usually pretty organised, and I keep thinking of things I should buy – or get instructed by someone else.  And then when I try to remember it’s gone.  I’ve lost all capacity of my short term memory.  I thought of a brilliant girls name that I wanted, and now can’t remember what that is.

I’ve had to buy a little notebook that I’ll write everything into so I don’t forget.  At work I am surrounded by post it notes, whenever my boss asks me to do anything I write it straight on a post it, I’m petrified of messing up because I’ve got some kind of mentally deficient pregnancy fog.

I just hope I get back to being super organised, and some how inspiration strikes and I know what to do.

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10 thoughts on “Mum skills

  1. Laura

    You’ll be great. It will be your baby so you’ll become an expert on what works. About the room, could you have the baby in with you at first, to make life easier? From what I’ve heard it makes life easier on the getting sleep front.

    Reply
    1. Eve

      definitely makes life easier for first few months, otherwise you’ll end up sleeping on the floor of babies room! although youve had loads of advice already (so feel free to ignore) i’d recommend a crib over a moses basket as it lasts about 6 months as opposed to about 6 weeks! that gives you loads of time to sort the new nursery out. you can get amazing ones on ebay, just buy a new mattress. ok advice session over! good luck. x

      Reply
  2. Emily

    I don’t think anyone knows what they are doing when they have their first child – everyone pretty much makes it up as they go along. So I wouldn’t worry! It will all work out okay. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Tom

    Don’t panic, and chuck out the baby books! They’ll only make you anxious. Best thing we did was relax and try to wing it as much as possible, there’s no right and wrong way of doing things!

    Reply
  4. Marie Millward

    Rach

    A lot if this stuff is really not worth worrying about. Just remember that there is a whole industry of powerful sales and advertising at work with a massive vested interest in selling you stuff that you really do not need. They make you feel that all this overpriced gear is vital, when actually it will only clutter up your home and waste your cash. I have two small kids and the antenatal marketing in Emma’s Diary style books used to make me really angry. Do not feel guilty about making your own decisions and thinking through whether this is some fluffy dream that you are being sold or the reality that you can actually live up to.

    Things I suggest you don’t waste your money on are

    Changing bags
    Changing tables – they are dangerous to use once your baby can roll over, which might be within a few months
    Special bins for nappies

    If you have a moses basket, maybe there is no need to get a cot straight away. I’d consider a second hand one, you see them advertised all the time for not much £ or even free, just buy a new mattress.

    If people offer used baby clothes say yes. You might not be in love with the idea of using them but at least it will give you lots of spares if your washing machine conks, you can’t face doing another load of laundry etc. Newborns get through an unbelievable amount of clean clothes.

    I don’t see why you need to stockpile nappies, they are quite bulky to store and available everywhere.

    Things I found really handy were
    A fold up changing mat
    Muslin cloths, can be used for loads of things – wiping up spillages, drying tiny toes, a sheet, for baby to lie on for a kick, a makeshift changing mat or sunshade. Ikea do good ones.
    Breast pads – whether you choose to breastfeeding or not, your boobs will leak like mad
    Sanitary towels – go for cheap, thick, high absorbent/cushiony ones. Get lots.

    The other advice I’d give from experience is learn how to adjust the fastening on your car seat before you need to bring your baby home!

    Everyone will want to give you advice (like I’m doing right now – ha) but remember it is your choice whether to take it or not. I’d say thanks and smile and have a good think about what can really work for me and my baby.

    Hope this helps

    Marie

    Reply
  5. illbefrancoise

    You really don’t need to be worrying just yet.

    I didn’t buy any books and I certainly didn’t stock pile nappies – there are constantly baby events on at the supermarkets where nappies are on offer. Besides – all babies are different sizes and ours didn’t fit the newborn size nappy for long.

    We didn’t really start buying anything until after 20 weeks. I made a list and it was a few sleepsuits, a couple of blankets and some nursery furniture. We did buy a wardrobe actually but it’s still in it’s box!

    You could go mad with stuff but all babies are different and often some like stuff and some don’t (like swaddling).

    Reply
  6. Alex

    Hi Rachel

    One thing my friends did recently was to join lots of baby clubs online, with Tesco and Boots for example, she seemed to get lots of free vouchers for nappies and other bits and pieces. I’ll ask her for any advice I can share with you.

    Alex

    Reply
  7. bakingaitch

    Aw, don’t worry Rach. You learn as you go along and there is no right or wrong way. The baby won’t come out running around and demanding pizza and fruit shoots! You’ll work up to all this slowly. Don’t be fooled by others telling you about all the things you’ll need. Babies really don’t need all that much stuff. I had 6 vests and 6 babygros when Evie was born as I didn’t know if she’d be a girl or a boy, and I was bought gifts then filled in the gaps.

    Take it easy love, the worrying’s no good. Your organisation skills will return. Baby brain happens to slow us down…I had no idea what I was talking about in one of my lessons today…just laugh about it and.cherish these special times.

    Xxx

    Reply
  8. Natalie

    It is amazing what you are capable of when a child arrives. Don’t worry about stock piling nappies or buying loads of stuff. There is always a shop open if you run low on something and you will get given/bought so much that you will wonder why you ever bothered buying stuff yourself. To worry is quite natural. My son is 2 and I still sometimes wonder if motherhood suits me! It’s a learning curve, but a great one. You will do just fine.

    Reply

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